Mar. 22nd, 2008 | 08:36 pm
music: set fire to the third bar - snow patrol
I had already made a rather unorthodox set, which was very unprettyful and icky and so on and so forth. So we opted into making new ones.
I’ll post stuff with neck, fingerboard etc. later, since right now I’m feeling the mighty powerful urge to go for a run in a strange city and getting thoroughly lost. Ooh, how emo of me.
Feb. 17th, 2008 | 09:21 pm
1. Ethics of suicide. Ten seconds, go.
2. At what point does always blaming yourself for everything become merely the inability to accept that some things - some people - are truly out of your control?
3a. When I stand at the edge I'm honestly no longer looking backwards; does this make me a true atheist, or just a fool?
b. On the way there, why would I allow myself to make so many promises, why do I reach out at all?
c. Does b. mean that I don't actually want to?
d. Does c. mean I'm every bit as awful as I think I am?
4. How much of memory should be allowed to be a perceptual lie?
5a. How can I socially treat an individual as a product of their choices?, yet
b. yet politically as the product of their environment?, and
c. emotionally as a product of their own head?
d. Seeing that a-c brings me to a ridiculous impasse, how do I force one coherent theory for dealing with people out of all that?
6. If I truly hate no one, do I truly love anyone?
7a. How much of me is mental illness, how much of me is "personality"?
b. How much of either should I be trying to fix?
8a. How can negative capability be morally... correct?
b. How can it be morally correct to desire that state?
c. How can it be morally correct to not desire that state?
9a. Why can't I accept that there are infinitely high energy states and just... move on?
b. Why do I have a ridiculously elaborate theory about how the universe is hyperbolic on short scales,
c. thus allowing conservation of energy to work for black holes given a.?
d. Why is scheming for new ways of overturning well established cosmological concepts my absolute favorite thing to do when I'm bored?
10. Why can't I accept the idea of immortal souls?
11a. Why can't I accept the idea of a beginning? (Big Bang, "moment of death", etc.)
b. Why must I believe that the universe/laws always existed?
12. Why can't I accept the idea of infinitely small points strung together to form a continuum of... anything?
13. Why is this longer than my established ten seconds, really?
Went a bit over. And I think if I was in a more rational mood I'd have more cosmology up there, since those are more generally my concern, but it's hard enough writing in complete sentences at the moment. And I'm looking at those now and it's like LOL philosophy, right. But whatever.
Things to do before I let myself sleep tonight:
1. Read 100pgs of art history text, through early Japanese.
2a. Write coat!fic for Whilily's 3-meme.
b. Find myself a new coat downstairs.
c. Spend no more than 15min angsting over current location of old coat.
3. Dump photos so I can stop fixating on all the ones of a particular.
4a. Write calc essay.
b. Download LaTeX, so next week I can just use that for my essay of dealing with the idiocy of Word's "insert mathematical symbol" function.
5. Hook up my sound system again so I don't have to deal with the annoyingly tinnyness of Iris (iPod), which does not let me crank the bass way up, and subsequently makes most metal absolutely unbearable for me to listen to, which is sad because I feel like listening to loud anti-musical noise at the moment.
Feb. 7th, 2008 | 10:10 am
Feb. 4th, 2008 | 07:46 pm
Jan. 19th, 2008 | 09:38 pm
music: through glass - stone sour
She places in hair pins to keep it all tidy, arranging it into aesthetic forms, those pleasing to the eyes of others. They always fall out after a few laughs, but she does it anyway. What’s the awkwardness of falling pins to those few moments when you are as beautiful as the rest of them?
She glances into the mirror; something scared and calm is staring back, then turning away as she goes out the door, out the door and into his line of sight.Briefly, she wonders who she’s putting her hair up for.
wish I knew
Jan. 18th, 2008 | 09:54 pm
Jan. 18th, 2008 | 06:00 pm
Jan. 8th, 2008 | 08:52 pm
music: hurt - nine inch nails
She thinks of times beneath a tree, things drawn in the leaves: the peace of forests in the ruins of
The high rich ache behind her eyes, the trip of her fingers when she tries to speak, the smooth delete as she changes her words to keep herself quiet. She fails, as always.
Consideration. She’s barefoot but she likes the feel of concrete aggressing her soles, wet to the ankle and getting deeper.
Programmed. People left at midthought. Selfish for it, she doesn’t want to care. Her breathing is the sigh of a plane falling into the sea.
Jan. 3rd, 2008 | 08:03 am
music: flying dutchman - tori amos
I don't even know the dates for when I did all this work - I don't think they're going to kill me for not having them, but that stuff's all imbedded in the pictures if people are all that interested in particulars.
I feel really stupid for having done so little during the fall. I mean... yeah, I was busy, and there was hospital whatnot and family whatnot and friend whatnot but... well, that stuff's still going to be there this winter, and I still have a lot of work to do. :P So I'm really going to have to pick it up.
Without further ado: